Still moving forward

I really havn't felt like writing lately and I still don't but I do want to give an update.
I'm still moving forward with the renewing of my mind. Funny, our Pastor on Sunday gave a message about changing our hearts and not focusing on the behavior. Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.
I told him he must have got the idea from me when I chatted with him about my journey lately.
I know I know, it is not a great original idea I have. :) But defenatly is a truth I am clinging to.

So how has my mind been being renewed lately? Well, I have been using Sparkpeople just as a food journal and learning about the whole calorie defecit thing.
If the equasion works for everyone, I should be able to eat 2000 calories a day and lose a lb every day and a half. I did great for 3 days in a row, then havnt been doing so great the last 3 days.
But I have been learning alot. Like those little tortillas I like have more calories than I thought. As well as the fact that a cup of straberries with 2tbs of cool whip are a yummy summer dessert and have really low amount of calories.
Keeping a food journal has also made me more aware of my eating habits and thoughts about eating.

I am still researching the Lap Band procedure and am going to a seminar about it tonight.

Also I am starting this book a friend recomended. Not really looking for more self help books about losing weight but since a friend recomended it I will readi it.

It is " Never Say Diet" by Chantel Hobbs and so far so good.
Here is a paragraph I just read ~

"Here's the simple answer: my brain changed. I decided to first become a different person in my mind and then learned patience as my body fallowed. My success wasn't measured only by a declining number on a scale; it was much deeper. I had to change on the inside. I neeeded to change my mind before I could change my body."

I think I'll keep reading :)

~ Renewing of the mind
~ Changing of the heart
~ Brain Change


Blessings!

Good Questions

Hi there,
It's been a while.
So, I have some questions that have been forming over the last week or so.

#1 Renewing of my mind means that there are areas in my mind that are not in the light of the truth,I am believing lies. Correct?(we all believe lies in different areas of our life) So what specific lies am I believing that are allowing me to continue making unhealthy choices? Once I identify the lies, then I can start searching The Word for the truth to replace these lies. Instead of just reading The Word and waiting for the answer to jump out at me.

#2 I have several people in my life that have lost large amounts of weight " the old fashioned way" They all say the same thing. " I just decided I was going to change" Ok, so how do I do that? What does that look like, what are the day to day real time steps that you do to make that happen? I have been " deciding" to change for years and years and it never sticks. So what do I need to do differently?

#3 I have overcome so many difficult things in my life with the Love, teaching and guidance of my God. So it is soooo frustrating to me that I have not been able to do it with this.I feel so angry that I eat the food that is unhealthy for me, I stay up to late, I make excuses to not exercise.I take responsibility for all those things, I do them, no one makes me.

So is it possible that I am on the path to "changing" and having victory in this area of my life and I am just not there yet? I need to be patient and allow the process to happen?
I would say yes, definitely.
I saw a quote the other day and can't remember who said it but feel it is so true and applies to this.
" The road to success is always under construction"

So here is a monkey wrench in this whole thing. I have been presented with the opportunity to have the lap band procedure done. With some work it would be covered by my medical insurance. So is this possibly a part of the process? A piece of the road construction?
Having this procedure done seems to me that it would force me to make those changes that I so easily get distracted from. Not to mention losing a bunch of weight would get my blood sugar under control, making healthier eating choices easier, and make being active and exercising easier as well.
I know that allot of people think this surgery is taking the easy way out and If I do it I really am not making any progress at all.
I look at it as putting my foot down and saying ENOUGH! I am willing to take drastic steps to put a stop to this . But then that creates more questions.

#1 Why am I willing to do something as drastic as surgery to my body to lose weight, but in the moment when I am hungry I do not do something as simple as grab some celery instead of some crackers? I can tell you in the moment it really does not feel simple at all, it feels like the hardest thing in the world. Is this a form of insanity? I need to find a shrink to read this and leave me some comments lol!

#2 Is putting my foot down and saying ENOUGH! Really the right thing to do? Or is it a control thing. I do HATE that I feel like I have no control over this part of my life.

So I am more full of questions than ever and seeking my God for answers. Praising Yahweh, thankful and happy that He will always love me and will show me the way.

So please remember at the beginning of this I told you this was going to be the ramblings of a woman having her mind renewed and I didn't even know if anyone els would really get it. :)
Blessings

Oh...I see

So after my blog post the other day I did alot of asking " hey what's going on here".
I do not believe it was satan atacking me...

I am begining to understand though that it may be God alowing things to get in the way of my straying from the path that is best for me.
I was starting to look for" things I need to do to make this happen" Ugh I should know better!
My focus was wondering off of Jesus and onto what I can do. I can go walking every day, oh look a water arobics class and a excercise class at the neighborhood mega church!
Now I'm not saying any of those things are bad,that God doesn't want me to do them, or that I won't do them. But it's about my focus. If my focus stays on my Lord,Saviour,Father,Guide,Teacher,Friend...then it's all good :)

Because of all the difficult things I listed in my last blog post I have had to just pray and meditate on things. Physically I have been unable to do much els.
So today's message is ...

DON'T FORGET THE RENEWING OF THE MIND! It needs to be my #1 priority .
Thanks for the reminder Abba...Thanks for loving me.

UGH

I really want to scream,cry and pull the covers over my head! In the last two weeks, since I have started trying to be more active...walking and such, I have had several things go wrong.
Last week I got a head cold, and a painfull cyst on my lower back right where my pants rub.
Cold went away and I got on some antibiotics for the cyst. Then...PMS struck! That slowed me down for a couple days and the cyst started getting worse.
Yesterday and the day before I pushed through and went for a walk anyway. They where nice.
Today cyst is getting even worse in spite of the antibiotics and thanks to them I now have a yeast infection. SIGH....K ,I can still deal...get some gardening done and go for a walk this evening right. Then as I am setting my newly planted flower pot out on my front porch I get a SHARP pain in the bottom of my foot. It hurts so bad I can't put pressure on it. Even making dinner was difficult.
It must be that piece of glass I steped on a couple weeks ago and could not get out. I thought it had worked its way out, but must not have and now it hurts again.
!!!!

So I'm a bit grumpy at the moment!
Thanks for listening to me gripe!!

Change my heart O God

Remove falsehood and lies far from me;
Give me neither poverty nor riches-
Feed me with the food allotted to me;
Lest I be full and deny You,
Or lest I be poor and steal,
And profane the name of my God.
Proverbs 30:8-9
So yesterday I was watching what I eat, low carbs, high protein,not allot of fat, and no sugar. Well then by dinner time I was feeling deprived and overate the casserole I made, then had a bowl of ice cream with carmel sauce on it.
Sigh...
This is usually how it goes. So when I read the above scripture it spoke to me, and has become my prayer for today, and probably longer.

"Remove falshood and lies far from me;" ~Renew my mind to the Truth

"Give me neither poverty nor riches- Feed me with the food allotted to me;" ~Help me to feed my body with just what it needs, not to much, or to little

"Lest I be full and deny You," ~So I do not ignore your leading to become healthier.

"Or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God." So I do not feel deprived and pig out.

BALANCE!

I also went for a walk this morning. Felt great,fresh cool air,sunshine,praise and worship music on the ipod, and good walking shoes. I could have walked longer that the 15 min I did if my ankles where not betraying me. Hopefully they will get stronger soon.

I loved it, and actually felt like I wanted to walk longer. But then remember I have felt this way before. Many many times when I have started exercising. Feels great at first,and I am all gung hoe...but that doesn't last long. Obviously, or I would not be in this place in my life :)

So I guess I just pray that things will be different this time and it will become a habit?
Maybe the fact that I am not working outside of the home and not taking on any more projects will help? I don't know. Yet again, one day at a time. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?
Blessings!

Disapointment & Progress

Well it's been a while,
I sooo wanted to blog a couple weeks ago about how disapointed I was in a certain book, but I didn't have time. Know I am a bit past the disapointment, well maybe not really lol.
From the title and hearing a few things from some of my friends about "The Makers Diet" I really wanted to read it. Sounded like it might have some good encouraging information about what The Word says about food, eating and health. Well, it was just like every other diet book I have ever read. How this and that are killing every average american and we are all doomd! But this study and that specialist say that if we eat this and take that we will be saved. UGHGGGG!
So my search for scripture about eating, food, and health continues...though I have defenatly been slacking on it for a while.

I just finished my last big project I had scheduled. I love getting involved and doing things, oh ya already told you about that lol. Anyway...I'm not taking on anymore projects, or events or commitments for the rest of the summer. Or maybe even longer....we will see. It's not easy, but in my prayer I am hearing that I need to make my health a priority or I will be no good to anyone els.
So no diet,or eating/exercise plan but,I do feel like it is time to make some moves in my daily habits. You will probably laugh at the simplicity of them,but this is where I am at.
1 No Projects
2 Wear real shoes lol
3 Drink more water
4 Go to bed earlier & get up earlier (this is easier now that my fav shows are over for the season)
5 go for short walks

And these are all just for today. Who knows what tomarow will bring!

Blessings!

Busy Busy Busy....

So I'm wondering how many of you do this also?
Keeping ourselves busy with "good things" that we have no time to meditate,study,listen and allow my mind to be renewed.

This past week, after months of being busy busy busy it climaxed after a great event for autism awareness that I worked hard and stressed over.
I had my first migraine headache in 10 years. I used to get them a couple times every year.They are very intense,pain...shaking...vomiting...falling into a deep sleep,then I wake up a couple hours later and am fine.It is very draining...I am usually useless for the rest of or next day.
I was really shocked to get one after so long. I think it is defenat confirmation of what that Still Small Voice has been telling me. Stop! Make my health the first priority in my life.
I am finally admitting I can not push myself as much as I once could. I used to be able to work and work and get very little sleep and live on coffee. So dramatic and so fun.
The mellow boring life is calling me and I am giving in. LOL
Gosh it is so hard though.
I have felt frustrated for the last couple years that I could not fit in volunteering for the Wishing Star Foundation after the amazing trip they provided for our family. But I think that was my first step and finding more balance.It was so hard to say no,and not to them,they never asked. I had to say no to myself,over and over and over again.
Now I am being told NO by My Father and Teacher and Guide about being foster parents.
No at this time anyway.
I have been wanting to be foster parents for a couple years know. We have gone through some things and learned allot of things that I think are preparing us for this task,someday.
When we where moving into this bigger home,last month,I was telling God how excited I was that we could now have the room to become foster parents. I felt very disappointed when he said " No,not yet." I said WHAT!? The answer came to me not in words,but just all at once,in a understanding,or revelation if you want .
I am finally in a place in my life where I could focus on my health,renewing my mind,creating healthier habits. Foster parenting would be the greatest reason ever not to do that.
~Oh I am so tired,been up all night with the kids.
~Oh I do not have time to exercise,prep healthy food, or even THINK...to busy with the kids.
~Oh I am to stressed.

So, I am listening,obeying. Not jumping into foster parenting just yet. Also knowing that by making my health the priority I will be a better wife,mother,foster mother, friend,daughter,sister,Sunday school teacher,and volunteer,and artist.

This is a huge deal for me, hey I guess this is a big part of my mind that is being renewed. A big part of my journey to better health.

Lol, to those in my everyday life I am sure it looks like I'm not doing anything to make healthier choices.
No diet, no exercises program,no new miracle fad. But I am making HUG steps in the right direction. It has to start with the renewing of my mind, so that is where I'm at today.